Chapter 13
We had one more live show before we were to fly out to LA for the record. This
show was in Decatur IL. It turned out the best show we had played since the trip
to Brazil. This was a good show to come from before the studio.
Working with John and Dino was a breeze. They were very easy going in the studio
and not domineering like we thought they might be. We had been warned from many
people who said that John and Dino would change Bride's sound and we would sound
like a watered down 8o's metal band. We found them to be very honest and
genuine. They let us record the record the way we wanted to and dictated
nothing. Matter of fact at one point when I was laying down my vocal tracks John
commented and said I wish I had some suggestions for you but I do not. That is
the way we wanted this record to be. "Totally Bride without the influence of
producers and record people."
John and Dino however had good ideas and when they made suggestions we tried
them. Sometimes things worked and sometimes they did not. John and Dino were
always the first ones to admit if one of their suggestions was not working.
They put us up in the Los Alamitos hotel, which was just around the corner from
the studio. We worked quickly utilizing the two Pakaderm studios. As soon as one
track was cut, they would send the tape over to studio B where I was able to lay
down vocals. It was like working twice as fast. We even got a chance to meet the
Elefante's parents and had a great spicy Italian meal with them while watching
the Evander Holyfield, Riddick Bowe fight. At this point, as the record was
coming to a close and the last few notes were being recorded I felt that John
and Dino should be made a part of the future of Bride. We opened the door for a
business relationship and began drawing up future battle plans. By the end of
recording, we were spiritually drained. We were tired mainly from the hassles of
arguing with Star Song and we were highly disgusted at the Christian music
market. I felt as though Christian labels were using the excuse "we must get
secular distribution" as an excuse to become more worldly. Other labels such as
Word, Benson, And Reunion had signed bands and released records that had nothing
to do about Jesus Christ what so ever. At this point in the life of Bride, I
debated with myself if I should even be a part of the hypocrisy that I witnessed
taking place.
I wrote this article inspired by the Holy Spirit about the condition and
disintegration of Christian Music.
"There is an ever-growing concern about the state of our natural environment.
The pollutants, toxic waste, cutting down of rain forest, the filthy carbon air
we are forced to breath, but I have found a worse infection. This more
disgusting thing is cankerous, poison; it defiles, weakens, endangers, violates,
and desecrates the very fabric of Christian life. It is called compromise! What
is happening spiritually and lyrically in so called "Christian music" is
abhorring. Jesus came to bring a sword not peace! He came to destroy the works
of Satan not to hold hands in partnership! Does it not seem odd to you that the
world is now embracing mainstream Christian music as their own?
Some would consider this a great break through, however I see it as compromise.
Jesus is a controversial person who caused an uproar everywhere he went. I
believe if we preach the gospel in spirit and in truth that the world will be
offended. Some will come to repentance because of the Holy Spirit drawing them
closer to God and this is our purpose to preach the gospel as laborers because
the fields are ready to harvest. But, when Christ becomes fashionable, I believe
the wrong Christ is being preached.
Jesus seems to have become the "in thing". Jesus preached if they hate me they
will hate you, that we would be hated of all men for his namesake (Luke 21:17).
Romans 9:33 speaks of Jesus being a stumblingstone and rock of offence.
Christian festivals compromising and secularizing their stages to the most
popular groups no matter their message, magazines flaunting Star like photos of
"Christian super groups" on their covers in the name of entertainment. How far
will we take this idol worship? How many smaller Gods will we put before "The
God"? 1 Thessalonians says 5:21 "Prove (test) all things; hold fast that which
is good.
Romans 12:2 "prove what is good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God". Can
anyone remember humility? Can anyone remember the anointing of the Holy Spirit?
As ministers of the gospel of truth, we have a duty to preach the gospel. We are
to follow God's purpose and grace not according to our work but His will.
Christ is the authority and He alone should be lifted up. Try and test the
spirit of those whose music you have supported. If there is not confirmation in
your spirit then walk away from it.
God will sort the good from the bad one day, let us have the integrity for the
sake of Christ to have followed only those who have followed Jesus."
Scarecrow was an album to be proud of and I could see it doing very well for us
but I could not see us continuing down the same path as we had already traveled
with Snakes. Although we would win 1995 DOVE AWARD-For the Album: "Scarecrow
Messiah" and have # 1 radio songs with "Place" and "Beast" I decided to take a
whole new approach for the future. We would go after the secular market with our
resources. I felt like our motives were legitimate and our goals within the
realm of reality. Unlike the general market place, I wanted to spread the gospel
of the Lord Jesus Christ instead of promoting Bride. Steve Baker was right
behind us and at this time Bill Reed joined us for the ride. I made a couple of
big decisions not to play two prominent Christian festivals for the New Year
because we were tired of repeating ourselves. By not stepping out on faith and
shooting big I felt like we were limiting the Lords ability to open doors and to
work in our favor. We were now stepping out on the water and I am sure everyone
from outside the Bride realm thought we would sink. In many ways we felt
desperate and knowing the worst, we still had confident hope.
I was looking forward to working with John and Dino in a production deal in the
future we were waiting at this time for them to get relocated and settled in
Nashville. Their move was a convenient move for us. We no longer would have to
go but a three-hour drive to record in the finest studios anywhere. My days in
the metal scene had been well spent and we had reached a lot of people touching
many people with God's word through rock music. I was however burnt out. We took
the entire month of December 1993 off to rest. Although I felt like Scarecrow
was an great record I also felt it picked up the torch where Snakes had left
off. As good as Scarecrow was it was not cutting edge enough for my taste. I
knew that it would carry us through the next 12 months and in this next year, I
wanted to write the greatest album that I had ever put on tape before. I had my
solo project mixed at this time and I was just waiting to hear from Star Song if
they wanted to distribute it or not. I really did not feel that Star Song would
know what to do with it seeing that it was so abstract but being under contract
I had to let them have first chance at it. I was hoping that they would reject
it and give me permission to shop it to other labels or manufacture it myself.
It was with my own money that I had recorded mixed and self produced it anyway.
I felt a bit out of touch with the new music scene that was developing and
seeing that I had just turned thirty it was time to make even more changes.
December the 16th I got a real hair cut. I figured most of the famous rockers in
the world did not have hair down to the middle of the back. People like Michael
Jackson, Mick Jagger, David Bowie, Don Henely, John Melencamp, and the list goes
on. I figured my fans would be shocked but the long hair was a drag to mess
with. Along with getting a haircut, I vowed to never stage dive and to stop the
moshing at our shows. I wanted to be contradictory and controversial in my new
approach. "My motto was cut your hair stop the moshing!" Don't give them but one
reason to persecute you. Our first shows with the new hairstyle was New Years
Eve 1993 in Dallas. There was mixed reaction but after the crowd stared at me
for about an hour and a half believing me to be a stage hand I think they got
used to the new look. Tammy Winters, a friend from Ohio just happened to be in
the area with her parents on vacation and they dropped in to see the show. I had
been trying to launch her career as a singer and now I had a new plan to get her
some notice. Matter of fact I was even thinking at this point about starting my
own record label and shoving to the side all of the hassle with the record
executives.
1994 Tulsa Ok kicked off the band. About 400 people showed up and even though we
had problems with the promoter who failed to get insurance on the building and
she had no security which by law she was supposed to have we played as they say
in the Christian market for a love offering. It was our first pass the plate
around show ever and it was humiliating in a lot of ways but things worked out.
After we returned home, our next show was a unplugged set in Coryden In.
We had the week off so I took this week like the month of December to try to
burn off the Holiday foods I had consumed. I had always been an excellent weight
lifter for my weight and at one time had benched 380 pounds. However, this
particular day was not my day. As I lay on the bench with only 225 pounds above
me, I got the most agonizing Charlie horse in my left hamstring that I had ever
got. I usually got muscle cramps but this one was painfully tight. I had already
did one set with this weight this morning and I had not even thought of having a
spotter. When I benched I never wrapped my thumbs around the bar but I cupped
the bar in my hands. For a split second I must have lost my concentration on the
weight and focused in on the muscle cramp. In a split second with no time to
react I lost the weight and took the entire impact on my chest and sternum. I
did not feel much pain but a lot of pressure. As I attempted to push the weight
off a couple of guys rescued me. They asked me how I was and having the wind
knocked out of me I could not speak. My mouth was moving and I was trying to
smile but nothing was coming out. Finally I got a squeak to come out then my
voice weak but audible said, "I am fine I guess." I guess I was in a little
shock because my chest did not hurt that badly. The people at the gym offered to
take me to the hospital but I declined and worked out for another hour. That
night and the next day I was miserable in pain. I am not a fan of doctors so I
toughed it out and to this day I do not know if I broke anything or not but I do
know the pain and discomfort lasted for weeks.
The day after that accident we met with Steve who was passing through from Minn.
going home to Raleigh. We discussed the future of the band and the direction
that we knew we had to take in order to stay a float. I tried to stay focussed
though my chest hurt. The fans at this point had know ideal of how hard it had
become just in the past three weeks to keep the band together. No shows, no
tours, no money and now we decided no more Star Song. It was the lowest we had
felt in a long time. It was truly a very lonely feeling. Star Song had decided
not to release the new record until June just out of stubbornness and to play
hard ball. Star Song was attempting to force us into resigning a long
un-adventurous deal with them. The new deal would keep us tied up for years. In
addition, later they would even try to trick us by sending us a 6-month contract
extension, which would have bound us for two more releases with them. I decided
to call on the fans to help by asking them to write to Star Song and demand that
Scarecrow Messiah be released sooner. I sent out flyers and wrote letters to
folks and I could tell that the fact that Star Song would pull something like
this made the fans angry. Bill Reed was having trouble booking the band without
a new record and I was determined no matter how bummed out I was over the
politics of the record business I was not going to give up. Troy and I began
writing music again trying to gear it to appeal to a wider audience which meant
making it a little lighter but still writing with an attitude an edge. We were
hoping that by the time Scarecrow was released we would have a new record
waiting there in the wings to be released. I had felt for a long time now that
there was something strange going on in the Christian market and I felt like
that the Lord was moving us around for a reason. Maybe the reason was that some
one was going to take a fall and he did not want us to be in the way. We all
called this a disturbance in the force. We did not know what 1994 was going to
bring but we knew that things were going to be different. We would either
advance by leaps and bounds we thought or disband completely, no one was sure so
we put it all in the
Lords hands.
I had heard through the grapevine that Star Song was going through some personal
changes. Jason Parker who had been instrumental in our radio success was now
gone to another label. Mike Kyle was rumored to be bailing out. Mike was the
head of marketing. There was the rumor that Dez was leaving the label. These
were just more signs to us that we had made the right choice by turning down
Star Songs resigning proposal. Another rumor floating around was that we had
been black listed from some of the festivals this coming year? Tim Landis, who
organized Creation in Pa. and Chuck Tilley who organized most of the Christian
shows at the amusement parks across the country had, wrote us off according to
my source. I never felt these two promoters understood Bride or the Bride fans
anyway.
We were underestimating the power within the market but they were
underestimating our fortitude.
We were to meet with Steve and Dez in Nashville Jan 17th of 1994 to try to
convince Dez to fight for an early release of Scarecrow and to bid a friendly
farewell to Star Song. I was not looking forward to the three hour trip to
Nashville I had been very ill with a sinus infection. However KY received a
record snowfall of about two feet. The snow blanketed everything and made any
travel what so ever impossible. Steve had traveled from Raleigh the day before
so now he was stranded in Nashville. Nashville did not get all the snow we did
but they got a lot of ice. Steve having lived in MN for many years would not be
stranded long though. Back home we were without electricity so I moved Sharon
and the kids next door to my parent's house where we could stay warm by the
fireplace. Within 36 hours we had power and the thaw began.
The mail coming into the office was like a whirlwind after the snow. Our mailman
was unable to get through for two days so when he finally arrived we had stacks
of fan mail. I had always personally corresponded with the fans and filled all
the merchandise orders myself. Everyone seemed to appreciate getting personal
letters from a band member. After a year and a half after Snakes had been
released the mail was still rolling in at a steady pace.
The band finally got to rehearse and the New Union was planned for the last
weekend in January 94. I had not seen Rik in three weeks and when Troy and I
walked into Jerry's house I was surprised. I guess he had decided over these
weeks to get more tattoos than me. He had about four maybe five more new ones.
They were not the stylish kind with color but more like real good prison
tattoos. The new tattoo on his neck would keep him from getting a real job so I
guess we were stuck with him for a little while longer.
By this time the letter writing attack upon Star Song from the fans had made an
impact. I heard from my connections and what few friends I had left that Jeff
Moseley was enraged and he defended the honor of Star Song with a letter back to
the fans. The letter said something to the effect "There are two sides to every
story and here is mine." The fans were not convinced and could read through that
record company penmanship. The support for us to get this new record out was
overwhelming but I was convinced that Jeff would not budge. It was never my
intention on making enemies with Jeff and Star Song and I personally was not
angry with anyone but I knew Jeff was furious and annoyed with me beyond belief.
I sent three songs from my solo project down to Dez for a possible deal of some
kind and he seemed to enjoy the songs however Jeff was not in the least willing
to listen to them. I knew the letters had crushed his pride and that he probably
would never want to see me again. It was nothing personal on my part though,
Star Song turned this entire episode into business and that is all it was to me
was business, nothing personal. March 1st I sent a long letter to Jeff calling a
truce and an end to this war. I wanted to repair our friendship and take care of
all the bad communications that had went down. Jeff responded the 4th with a
telephone call to me. He was very much willing to shake hands and put all of
this confusion behind us. He assured me that the record would be on time which
the time was still June, and that he would work with us like he had
always did in the past. I felt much better taking care of this situation.
When I had called on the fans to write to Star Song I never intended on them
writing vicious letters and boycotting Star Song products but it happened. Some
of the letters came to me from the fans of proof they had sent them. I never
found out how many letters Jeff actually received but our office was buzzing
with disgruntle letters. Some wrote that they felt "that the ministry had been
compromised or jeopardized by exec's who have no ideal what it is to be on the
front lines of the battle for souls and lives in the
subculture known as metal heads." Some accused Star Song of " corrupt
politics. " They accused Star Song of
"blackmail ". Others offered their prayers in the matter. Some even used
profanity. There was even a fifty-name petition. The support we received in this
matter was overwhelming. It had been effective in drawing much attention however
it did not do anything for the date of release. I felt that everyone involved in
the situation, Star Song, the fans, and myself had learned from this lesson and
now it was time to pull the troops off the front lines and call a truce in the
matter.
Jeff was kind enough to give me permission to manufacture and sell through our
shows and fan club my solo project. It was near completion and this was a relief
financially. I was unsure if anyone would like it or understand it. I felt some
would tolerate it, some would appreciate the effort put into it, but without a
lengthy explanation I felt most people would not get it. I hoped most would feel
like Jerry who told me "it was border line genius." Then again Jerry was my
drummer and he liked all types of strange music anyway. I never got a response
from Rik but I never got a response from him on hardly anything. It was time now
to spend the real money out of my own pocket on advertising, printing, and
postage. I figured the reviews would be mixed from the magazines but I was
hoping that they would give it a fair listen. It was not the type of project
anyone was going to digest all at once or listen to it nonstop.